Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

He is… the Least Interesting Man in the World

His pocket protector has a protector.

He can recite pi to 1000 digits.

He’s actually seen the Star Wars Holiday Special (and liked it).

Although he has no athletic ability, he knows the most obscure rules in college and professional football.

He irons his suspenders and underwear every night before bed.

His website was written completely in Microsoft Notepad.

His mommy bronzed his first pair of coke bottle glasses.

He can name all the red shirts that died in Star Trek.

Isn’t it interesting that…

… those who want the government out of the bedroom don’t mind the government in the kitchen telling them what they can eat, or in the garage telling them what to drive, or in the living room telling them what they can watch, or in the bathroom telling them how much the toilet can flush? Oh wait, they don’t mind the government in the bedroom when the government tells them what kind of light bulbs they can use.

… we are heading toward banning fried chicken but legalizing pot?

… the same government that can’t deliver mail on time, win a war, balance a budget, stimulate the economy, keep jobs from going overseas, protect our border, prevent the largest Ponzi scheme, save Social Security (a legal Ponzi scheme), thinks it can do a better job at health care than the private sector?

… women with fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs, fake eye lashes, fake nose, say they want a real man?

… people think stocks, bonds, real estate, commodities have bubbles but push gold as the perfect investment – the same gold that fell over 50% in a 20-year time span from peak to trough?

… Mexico thinks the US should welcome illegals with open arms while they are harsh with illegals in their own country?

… a majority of people living in poverty in the US own a house, have air conditioning, watch cable tv, own a car, own a clothes washer and dryer, and live better than the average Frenchman?

… people think video games have too much influence on kids? Take Pac Man for example. If that were true, you would have teens and young adults running around dark rooms, eating pills, and listening to monotonous electronic music.