Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Society’s Bad Image of Fatherhood

Is it just me, or does it seem that fathers get a bad rap in today’s society? Let’s look at some examples.

Think about all the TV shows and movies that feature a father that’s either inept, fat, angry, or any combination of the three… if the father is even present. Even Disney Channel goes along with it. Family Guy, Home Improvement, Wizards of Waverly Place, That 70′s Show, just to name a few.

Look at advertisements with babies or young children. Or think about the last parenting magazine you saw. Do you see a dad? Chances are you don’t. Why is that?

You always hear stories about dead-beat dads.  Have you heard any about dead-beat moms?

Of course, there are fathers out there that don’t help.  These “sperm donors” are with the mother, then bolt when he finds out he’s fathered a child.  These guys are scum.  If you can’t handle the consequences, then don’t do the deed.

Dads change diapers, bathe kids, and make dinner just like the moms.  Dads show up to ball games, dance recitals, and graduations too.  It’s time to stop the negativity toward fathers and give them the credit they deserve.

Miracles

All babies are miracles, but mine is extra special in my book.

Caleb was born on November 30th, 2009. During the pregnancy, my wife was given an alpha-fetal protein test during one of her OB visits. Her results came in just above the cutoff that required further testing. Many people told us that the test gives a lot of false positives. We assured ourselves that everything was okay.

We went in for the specialist’s ultrasound. After a few minutes of looking, the tech asked for the doctor to come in. That was when the doctor told us Caleb had spina bifida. We were devastated.

Spina bifida usually leads to paralysis at and below where the malformation occurs. Along with paralysis, a significant majority of spina bifida patients have hydrocephalus and incontinence. Sometimes with the hydrocephalus, it can lead to some learning disabilities and even possibly death if severe enough. His incontinence was an extra concern because he only has one kidney.

My wife began questioning herself… Why her? What did she do wrong? What could she have done different? What if she didn’t do X? But, after a while, she began praying that God would use Caleb for His will and to be a testimony to others.

Caleb continued to kick during the pregnancy, which baffled the doctors. Ultrasounds showed that his head wasn’t swelling too much. The amniotic fluid levels were normal.

After he was born, he was sent to NICU where he would spend the next 12 days. He had his surgery the next day to close his spine. For a couple of days, Dr. Jennifer Arnold from The Little Couple was his neonatologist. Throughout his NICU days, I played with his feet and watched him move his toes. I knew he had feeling in his feet. He was also making normal diapers after the anesthesia wore off.

With his last visit with the spina bifida specialist, Caleb was taken off antibiotics used to protect his kidney. He should be able to walk, but need some early but temporary assistance to get him there. He does have congenial scoliosis, but the doctors are not concerned at this time. He is doing much better than expected.

If you don’t believe in miracles, I hope examples such as mine will convince you otherwise. Lots of people have prayed for him, and only the Lord knows what is going to happen with him in the future, but we are very optimistic. We would never wish this upon anyone else, but we know Caleb will do amazing things.